We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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