I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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