i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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