Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize