This is not my ceiling
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
