and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
