she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
