There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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