is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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