there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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