He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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