I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
