just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
