Christians are straight up FREAKS
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
