I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
