remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
