He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
