bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
