I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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