Your dad touched me again.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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