the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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