Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
