I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
