Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
