I wish I only lived at night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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