mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof