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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Now it won't go down.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You've got a gift.

  Fav 2 1628 765

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• (607): View more from New York

  I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

  Fav 18 4670 973

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just saw the nastiest chick.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Where?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

  Fav 43 1655 8649

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?

  Fav 7 3397 933

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

  Fav 25 12667 1822

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

  Fav 14 1297 3513

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

  Fav 4 1191 2312

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where the hell are you

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's winning.

  Fav 23 6097 1540

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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• (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

  Fav 5 933 1646

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.

  Fav 13 946 2011

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.

  Fav 9 1321 559

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• (858): View more from California

  Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever

  Fav 1 622 401

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.

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