Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (800) Bad night (2926)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen http://tfl.nu/tcr3
  Replies (20) Good night (762) Bad night (5390)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it. http://tfl.nu/dm7u
  Replies (44) Good night (8244) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz
  Replies (51) Good night (6178) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot. http://tfl.nu/hre1
  Replies (14) Good night (3762) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes. http://tfl.nu/x3hi
  Replies (8) Good night (2049) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/tfvw
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again. http://tfl.nu/6m3f
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Braid them armpits, sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered. (1-817): Braid them armpits, sister. http://tfl.nu/o7hq
  Replies (1) Good night (1451) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/6a77
  Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it. http://tfl.nu/mpdx
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just need some dick and some jimmy johns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just need some dick and some jimmy johns http://tfl.nu/d6uv
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just saw a government minister puke and rally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just saw a government minister puke and rally. http://tfl.nu/t9mk
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (213)

Randomize