I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
