We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
