i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
