"it" just moved
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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