We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
