gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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