12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
