Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
