Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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