took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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