I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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