i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
