What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize