# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
