glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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