Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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