So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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