She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
