when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
