Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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