did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
zippers are such a cool invention
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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