I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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