What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
