We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
