He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
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I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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