Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
