dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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