i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
