its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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