I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
