im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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