I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize