I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
