don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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