Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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