it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
