he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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