Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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