AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
