would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
