she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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