Did you just see the Batmobile???
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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